It messed his efforts

Feb 2, 

Single's Daily Horoscope for Cancer;

"Sometimes your inferiority complex is charming. Currently, however, i has ceased to be cute.
Nobody has the energy to reassure you -- that confidence must come up from within. If you haven't talked to a stranger in a while, today's the day to chat it up with a new hottie."

Thing is, there is no new hottie. I wouldn't say old, but he is sure not new to me. and that's the problem when you had a history, it tends to mess up with the presence. Reading this made me realize, he wouldn't have all the time in the world to keep on reassuring you honey... But that messes things up because I make myself believe he is not serious. I make myself believe he would change overnight. I make myself believe things won't work out. It messed his efforts. 

Life means something to me when he's around. Everything make sense. but, that second when he's gone, when we're apart, these voices started to convince me that this is not right, that is not right, this is not the right time, it's still too soon, it'll never work out, it'll never be the same, and bla bla bla....

And when I start telling, or maybe I'd say sharing with him, he started to change. At least, I know he does... or maybe he didn't but still he made me feel so... So, in a way, he adds up to all this confusion and accidentally convince me, yeah this is not right. :/ 

But, deep inside my heart I think I know the answer. It's the factors around which won't make it happen. and that includes you. :(