Tune is back

Been quite sometimes since I wrote my last poem. I really don't know whether I lost inspiration or just not having it cuz I spend less time focusing on myself, to my inner voice... or simply cuz I hardly wake up early anymore.

So, last few weeks I went to a training program for Change Management subject, and we were required to wake up early, so I had sometimes for myself and these words just flew through me. Note them in my memo, and thought to myself I could use them as a material for our cultural show. but we did not, we made theatre instead.

you know what... am not gonna explain further, it's not even important. but hey, I still get to read this in front of my classmates during our final presentation for the training. and I hope each one of them knows that this comes from heart. :)

I hope I still have my tune for self expression. Here you go :)

In life, you will trip...

in whatever you do,

You gonna have a falldown.

But that's what teaches life...

It teaches you the process,

make you understand all over.

And whenever you tripped,

always remember to get up.

Cuz each time you stand up and

take another step,

You're almost there,

Closer to victory,

closer to whatever you're meant to be...

Don't worry,

don't be afraid,

we are here to look after one another,

to help you get up,

to help you wake up...

Cuz I believe,

that's what friends are for.

by haniishadows.

30th June 2011, Happy Birthday sayang.

When it rains,

let me be your umbrella,

When you feel pain, 

let me share will ya?

When I'm away and

you can't see me...

Just remember I will

still be there,

please don't run to anyone...

because

at the end of the day,

I am still the one.

You and I.

a note to ponder

When a girl is being so nice to a guy,

she's not being cheap,

When a guy being 'jual mahal'  or selfish to a girl that being nice to her,

he's not being ego,

This girl is not being cheap,

we have to accept the fact that a girl is a compassionate person,

therefore a need of attention is a must.

And this guy is not being ego, it is in him that,

he felt ashame and felt that he did not deserve to get the girl.

Hence, girls and guys do understand each other and dont judge... X)

- by Ryanshadows.

If you weren't mine

A poem especially made for me. Perhaps it's not a good poem, but it's valuable though to me :)
Credit goes to Ryan Shadows.

Sitting alone at a corner,

I was thinking...

I am not going to be alone if she sits with me,

I am not going to sing alone if she hears me,

I am not going to joke alone if she laughs for me,

I am not going to cry alone if she sit besides me,

I am not going to sleep alone if she accompanies me,

I am not going to walk alone if she walks with me...

If, is just a word.

Which always discourage us for it's uncertainty,

Which always doubt us for its fifty-fifty,

Then comes a girl, she sits next to me

at the corner...

Sitting next to me she said...

You don't deserve to feel the uncertainty or fifty-fifty,

you deserve to hold a word stronger than If,

you know why?

Because you ave me... And I'm not going to let you live you life

alone by yourself,

with "if" haunting you...

Got up with her, I smiled...

Now I do believe in me that my life

would be miserable 'if' she's not mine.

regards.

changed my mind

Foremost this is a poem that has nothing to do with my current situations.

it just came...

I dont want to hear it anymore,

I just want to be alone,

I want to be on my own...

My heart shattered,

my tears suffered,

I struggled,

but he giggled.

A life has been scattered

yet to know that,

A love has been cheated...

With all lies created,

my soul defeated.

Dont shout my name,

I just dont want to hear it,

All i want is for you,

to go away...

by haniishadows

cinta awak sampai mati.

Bila hati berdetak,
fikiran kembali.
tapi si dia tak jua pergi...
menetap disini,
tempat layaknya Sang Cinta Hati.

Aku berfikir lagi,
mengapa air mata harus mengalir tak henti?
terdetik di sudut hati,
aku tak sanggup kehilangannya untuk menangi ego sendiri...

Bila diselami lagi,
kutemui sanubari diri,
yang mencintai dirimu sampai mati...

by Haniishadows.

specially for you sayang. =)

Pendusta Cinta

Kau berpuitis cinta,

Engkau bermadah segera,

perlukah itu semua?

Kau ambil merah saga,

Engkau pulangkan hitam belanga,

perlukah kau sakitiku begitu rupa?

Kau bisikan kata cinta,

Engkau maksudkan kata dusta,

apa yang cuba kau sampaikan sebenarnya?

Aku cuba mengertimu wahai hati lara,

izinkan aku memahami perasaan yang bermain di titian hiba.

cukuplah hatiku terluka,

dengan kata-kata pendusta cinta.

by haniishadows

love don't lie. so, why should you?

Love stays

My feeling is telling... My heart is saying... My mind is warning...
but myself keep doing... Time is flying... Things are still going...
Memories fading... Everyone's leaving...
I'm wondering without thinking... While the world's moving i'm stopping...
trying, looking, searching the love that should be lasting.
Now i'm staying for the love im having.

by Haniishadows

Sometimes bende depan mata je tapi kite x nampak and yet kita bother nak cari jauh2.
kononnye nak make an effort la. how stupid we can be... haish.
so, be more alert maybe..? er,, ;)

My first poem, Rebelling in Silence

Im lost in the middle
I want to go back to where I started it
but there's a voice telling, I should juts move on.
Leave what is behind, take what is infront.
Sooner or later i'll be in the right path
just move and move...
It's like staring a new life
but i dont know where to start, even how to begin...
and i dont know how to let go and i'm scared.
It hurts like hell.
It really hurts inside.
They talked about "it".
They say bad things about "it"
I cant stand it anymore
I'm rebelling in silence...

by Haniishadows

I guess i would say it's my first writing ever? so, xde la gempak mane kan... but then, you see it was my starting point. it led me to where i am now... so, so that's it. :)

There's no fairy - '09

.picture doesn't belong to me.

Things happen without prediction,
for an unpredictable reaction,
It happens unfairly,
there's no fairy...
I'm not expecting,
but it's so frustrating
to know that this live show
is actually a reflection
of a Life,
that is full of surprise...

by haniishadows.

p/s: yeap yeap. life is unpredictable. so many things await us and yet we keep on whining and complaining. no harm i guess. keep going! ;p

Necessity of life - '09

For once, i just really dont want things to be perfect.

For once, i feel the necessity for things to be upside down.

For once, i could say that even a highly educated psychologist will go thru shits in life, and get upset and feel down sometimes.

And me? a rebellious teen who goes thru over thousand conflicts in her mind everyday?

sometimes i wonder, does my personality makes me complex?

does my personality makes me troublesome?

does my personality makes me hard to understand?

If life has to be professionals & rational always, where does real emotions belongs too?

If life, is a theory, where there are specific reaction for certain action, what do i live for? why am i even living??

If life, is not in me, how did i lived?

But,

If life, is in me, why am i still searching for one or more?

by Haniishadows

i feel emptiness filling my heart and taking place in my soul. i kinda lost track of life and tracking each steps left unseen. it's complicated.
happiness surrendered to loneliness.
i gotta keep up. get a life. and find a smile. again.

A poem for him - '07

You were looking for her,

You looked around & you saw her,

You thought she won't go anywhere...

You glanced at her once in a while,

keeping the thought you had in mind,

Then you stared at her for sometime...

and in a second you blinked your eyes,

she got lost in your sight.

You were looking for her,

not knowing that she's gone...

You forgotten the thought you had.

You were looking for her,

and you learned and realized,

as time goes by,

that she's gone in a blink of an eye,

and you regretted it,

that you didn't make it,

to tell her...

not that she's beautiful or whatever...

but you love her,

more than any other.

by haniishadows.

p/s: Realize what you have now people before it's too late.
i wish i could have done that earlier but it's a lesson for me.
could be a guidance for you huh. well, it's life. it's life.
dont take whatever in the presence for granted.
appreciate it to the fullest. put all effort to precious it or them.