There's always a better tomorrow

I knew I left this blog (again) for quite a log time, and my most of my post were only about heartbreaks and pain and tears and memories and stuffs... I'm sorry if that kinda irritates some of you. Well, it's my blog, obviously. But to like or not, that's up to you. It's your right really...

Things or shall I call it, life, has gotten better for me these few months. I know, I said so much on being brokenhearted and how much I wanted to move on and how hard it was to let go. But, yeah, it's the bitter truth, but I am now back with the same guy. Lame? Pathetic? Weak? I thought so.

I tried moving on, after one hectic month (hey it wasn't that bad, it helped me lost weight after all ;p) and I  thought there was nothing left, I tried to fix things but alas I realized the relationship were like broken glasses shattered into dust, you can't even glue it up. There was no shape anymore after all. 

I moved on. as the quote above says, they miss you when you move on, that is what I would want to believe, but I wouldn't know for real... 

We started to contact each other again, TRYING to be friends, there were no attachment, no commitments, so we both were free and happy. SPARKS were there once again... and then cupids came along convincing us to work this thing called relationship, all over again.

It was quite tough at the beginning, of course, me and my trust issue, me being paranoid, me being me...

but Alhamdullilah, it have worked out. 

I don't know how we worked it out, but I don't have to check his phone everyday anymore, I don't have to log into his Facebook account to check any inbox and stuffs. Even I feel annoyed doing those things, it's like I'm hurting myself more than he is (if there's any 'cheating' going on)... Because checking all that, proves that, "mannn, I don't trust this guy, there must be something he's hiding from me...At leastttttt something." LOL. Ask me pleaseeeee, why am i in a relationship with someone I do not trust at all? I was so silly I should die!

but we tried talking, confessing, tried this method called 'being honest'. At first, he cooperated by telling me where he is, who he's with, by re-assuring me how much he had learnt his lesson, and re-assuring me of how much he needs me now. I know it sounds pretty fucked up, but i just needed assurance at that time. I needed to know he's being serious. I needed him to prove he's ready to commit. So, he committed by helping me through...And now, I can go a day without being so clingy to him. 

but hey, someone said,"If he's being unfaithful, then it's his lost." 

Huh, I guess we never knew the future yeah. Whatever it is, never lose faith :)

And, - As a Muslim, even ditahap yang paling cikai, never ever lose faith in Allah. Suicide is never an option. Whatever it is, go back to Allah.

Define your term of 'friendship'.

"Kadang-kadang ada kawan tu, tiga bulan sekali je jumpa. Tapi dah 7 tahun tak lost contact. Ada pulak kawan yang setiap hari lepak, tapi bila haluan dah lain, tak contact dah. Sahabat tak bermakna perlu beriringan setiap masa, sahabat bermaksud betapa sibuk pun masing-masing, tidak pernah hilang di ingatan dan doa. Friendship is not about frequency, but friendship is about consistency." - Imran Sheik

I admire this guy whom I barely remember because I only met him when I was still a child, he was my neighbor. 

I admire him for how he can express almost everything in words. I can't, I failed at expressing my thoughts or feelings. And when expressed in actions, most of them were misinterpreted. So, people like him, help people like me a lot. 

and friendship, is about consistency. :)