Romantic proposal

Did I ever share how he (Zarian) tried to win my heart? He bought be this roll at Crepe Signature at (it's a food by the way, i knowww righttt!) at the packaging of the food, he wrote, "Would you be my girlfriend?" Dah lah depan public. I cried anyway. Lapar sangat gamaknya menangis... hahaha!

'CREPE SIGNATURE'
This is the shop, you guys should try the seaweed flavour, it's AWESOME ! Trust me :P
(well that's why people queue for it, isn't it?)
*this picture is taken somewhere from google. thanks Google.

And this... is how he did it <3
He is romantic sometimes, i have to admit that *blush*
I LOVE YOU YAYAN.

  Now playing: Radio by Lana Del Ray

Sekolah Menengah Swasta Saleha, Genting Highlands

I miss my high-school life. I miss my friends. I miss the schools' events. 

I miss SM(S) Saleha, Genting Highlands.

And this goes to Cha, Ja, Cindy, Fareha, Aqil, Reza, Chik Yin, Shi Wei, Hikmah, Wan, Helen, Nanda, Freddy, Cynthia, Taufik, Helbert, Nyiam, Phua Chu Kang, Betty, Eleena, Fara, Mieza, Sherra, Nad,Syasya, Jez, Nithiya, Adam, David, and all my juniors, and of course, teachers. There are too many to mention, but I miss you all dearly in my heart. <3

I once felt like being in a prison in KGH, but I did not realize I actually had the best moments when I was there. When we're all there. And now, I miss it badly. 

Tutti Frutti okay!

Credit goes to someone else.

Credit of editing goes to me, LOL :P

TUTTI FRUTTI ok, not Frutti Tutti :D

At least someone knows.

Whoever bought me this is sure the sweetest person on earth! Do you know how long I have been craving for dark chocolates? This, people, is what I called perfection of the day ;)

Surprise birthday party for my roomie ;)

It was us, part of the housemates who planned this for our little baby Mira who's turning two zero this year.

It was simple but I thought it was a blast, the party was awesome in a way it gathers us all...

I wish it was the best present she could ever have for turning into an adult (well there's no more 'teen' to be pronounced in her age ;p)

We really wanted it to be a moment, a special day, a day to remember for the rest of her life. Even when we're no more together, or when we got lost in contact. I want her to remember :)

I can't tell what we did, but these pictures shall tell. 

The setting before Mira's arrival *everyone was in excited mood

And there he is, our present from us :P we fetched this present from Unisel Batang Berjuntai all the way to Shah Alam so that she could celebrate with one she loves :) We kept him in the box and asked Mira to open her present and be very careful so that she won't have heart attack! She screamed anyway haih hahahah...

Pizza was our menu. Did i mention how much I love 'together-ness'? I do.

awhhhh ~ that romantic moment! xde sape bleyh kacau! haha

She's lucky and i hope she knows that ;)

Precious people <3 

The people who made the party into a success >.<

These ladies are AWESOME. 

she told him she wanted cupcakes and he got her cupcakes =)

AND HERE COMES THE AFTER PARTY! THE REAL CELEBRATION. THE TRADITION! :D

We closed Mira's eyes, put her in the center of our circle and bash her with the flours in each's hand. xde kesian-kesian. hahaha

covered in flours. demmm

Ain't she cute? =D ikr

Haruslah COUPLE kene teruk, the victim of the night ^^

She got a rose, I'm jealous much? hahaha

AND THAT'S JUST ME INTERRUPTING, TRYING TO BE CUTE ;P (do not puke! haha)

To dear Nor Amirah, we really hope you enjoyed our surprised, no, we hope you love it... 

Maybe it's too late for me to say this here today, but Happy Birthday dear, May Allah bless you with loads of loves around you and I pray you get to keep the one you love forever happily ever after, InsyaAllah.

"Be good, be nice, be wise as you grow older"

I love you :P

First half of pictures as promised.

SNOWALK i-CITY, SHAH ALAM, MALAYSIA

Surprise Birthday Party

I can't sleep, mungkin sebab dah tidur petang tadi. Itulah, mama dah kejutkan tapi gatal nak tidur, kononnya letih and here I am babbling alone.
Tawar hati. I need an exact definition for that. How about if you love a person much yet you feel that? Possible? Entah, yang pasti what I'm feeling isn't something I would classify as 'tawar hati'. Well, whatever (ayat cover!)

Last Thursday was my love's birthday. Well, didn't do much for this year as I have a very tight budget. I was quite in dilemma in deciding how to make his day... Last year, we celebrated with family. So, I thought I'd do something different. Thinking of taking him to the Garden restaurant in Sunway or Italiannies at the Curve but thinking of going out just together, the both of us, doesn't makes me feel excited. I mean, it could go awkward or he might be bored of going out just the two of us, yelah everytime pun boleh keluar berdua what... So, what came to my mind was he'd be so happy if his friends could gather in one place at one time. He can hardly gather his friends, they're often busy working and stuffs. Sometimes, dia pulak yang tak ada masa lagi2 since he starts working at Celebrity Fitness. So, I decided to gather his friends and make it a surprise for him and mission started by inviting each of his besties, people that I know. Everything was planned well, it should turn out fabulously but I spoiled it. Hanii pulakk... mampu planning, hancus. Last minute plan, tukar location, and I decided to bake the cake (it was my sis actually ;p). Rush balik from my work place, tukar baju and all tak sempat siap pun and nak confirm lagi dengan everyone else, I sucked in planning haha.

But Alhamdullilah, surprise tak surprise lah jugak dia. Maybe I dah kantoi sikit awal2 tu, but he never expected around 10 of them will turn up. I pun actually ;p Happy sangat, because of them lah my surprise menjadi, even lambat and all, tolak tepi lah, dah lepas pun. And special thanks to Naz, who I believed came all the way from Puncak Alam to make it happen. Not to forget Nick, Ateen, Anis, Jijie, Mimi, Apip, Dayah, Kak Ton, and Shah :) Thank you guys, and Happy Birthday <3 

Location: McD jalan Telawi, Bangsar.

Sweet buah hati :)

Buah hati kayyy bukan buah dada dush. hahaha. Isn't he is the sweetest guy I ever met? Memanglah once in a blue moon nak tunggu dia romantic mcm ni but when the time comes? Can't recall if I actually stop smiling for the rest of the day :P But too sad, I couldn't make it sebab ada exam :( But we did went somehow 2 days later... :) I just have to share this with you guys! Telling the world, that I'm taken ^^
I love you sayang...

From Malaysia to Thailand

I'd like to say Welcome to Malaysia to Krissi and Alex who came from Bangkok for their shooting here on the 30th March. Really guys, if only you could spend more time here maybe we can go to more places :) Had fun hanging out though. I hope you really enjoyed Malaysia and at last you know how your country and mine is somewhat alike, perhaps like you asked about our faces are almost the same? :D

Come again alright? And make sure you have time for fun :) 

We miss you guys.

p/s: to Mook, if you're reading, I hope you can make it too! I miss you so much dear.

Fullhouse, Sunway Pyramid

Sometimes bringing your boyfriend to meet school friends are cool!

We hardly can meet but they're my friend :)

14.3.2011

Oh kita dah 2 tahun together lah sayang. Despite dulu orang kate,"Ala baru setahun jagung."
Despite all of their judges, 2 years is long for me. I never kept a thought of an easy relationship. Of course, the waves were hard but we managed. After so much you and I been through. Pretty much for a 2 years-only couple. Dulu awal2 kenal, awal2 bercinta lain, SEMUA INDAH, BAIK BURUK I SUKA LAH. But now we spent lots of time trying to adapt to each other's bad habits and all... Tapi that's how it is supposed to be kan... Better do it before marriage, at least if one of us decide,"aku x tahan lah dgn kau" or "I don't want to spend my the rest of my life dealing with this person" you can still simply cut it off.

Tapi sayang, tahun ni saya tak cukup budget nak celebrate -_____-" but how sweet of you getting a Music Box for me. Pagi-pagi lagi dah dapat Music Box, terasa macam I'm back to the little kiddo world sekejap. Cute baby thanks :) Dah la dapat Music Box, dapat pulak favourite Egg Tart - John King! A very lovely morning oh wait, + FAT :P

-my ballerina in my music box :)-

in my world

14.3.2010,

Happy 1st Anniversary Yayan! :)

As i said, all the fights were worth it to last with you till now.

I am just so happy to have you in my life.

Maybe i can questioned, why do you even appear in my life?

And the answer shall be, "to love you baby."

For those who knows us, knows our story, our hardships, and for those who had helped us thorugh it, i dont mind of you judging us. but for those who doesnt, keep your thoughts to yourself. We dont buy it.

I could still remember our first met, it was unexpected & beautiful.

I remember looking at each other without a word, without even knowing each other.

A stare that last until now. that had kept us together...

I'm sure you remember spending the whole night chatting to each other. Of course, i talked less at that time. but I admire how you could stay me awake listening to your stories.

Dear, i am so sure it wasnt Masscom who had build you the way you were or you are. It's just inside of you. ;p

Conflicts by conflicts, i believed it was fate who had matched us at last. who knows...

After so much denial between us, well, it just doesnt work, we're meant for each other.

The truth / Honesty had bind us.

Talking for 3 hours to you wasn't enough. There was just so much to talk about, to tell too.

But hey, i'm sure you never really care about this but i wont forget how people used to condemned you so much that you were with a school girl. but you never give a damn.

but hey sayang, i think i like it better when i was a school girl. we suite anyway. anyhow :)

But mostly what i'd like to tell you on this day was, I want to start a new chapter with you. Let's leave the bitter one behind. Let's leave all the bitches behind and go on with, only us.

I had forgive you but now, i am so ready to forget. you know i am not the kind who forgets, but i would for this, for us.

You've been a great guy on earth to me. You're sweet. You're ..... everything? idk ;p

Even kite pegi cruise bodo2 je on that day, i'd like to tell you how happy i was.

couldnt describe the feeling... it was a perfect day. never forget okay?

Urgh. nagging about you could take me so long... There are just so much about you dear.

I should stop ...

I hope we'll figure out better ways not to fight. haha. i like it sometimes... ^^

i love you Yayan! ILYSM and only u know what it means.

Fantasi, Ilusi, & Realiti

saya pejam satu mata, saya nampak awak...
so, saya pejam dua2 mata, tapi saya mula dengar suara awak...
saya tak faham, "what's happening....?" "kat mana saya...?"
saya rindu sangat dekat awak. tapi saya takut bila awak dekat2 dengan saya.
saya takut awak akan lukakan saya lagi...
saya bahagia sangat dengar suara awak, tapi pada masa yang sama, saya sakit.
saya keliru.


..............................................................................


saya rasa saya tidur tadi... tapi situasi ni nampak real sangat.
saya tak bermimpi... awak memang ada... saya dapat rasa...
tapi saya tak tahu kenapa, tiba2 saya terjaga...
kecewanya saya, saya tak sempat nak cakap dengan awak...
tapi dalam realiti yang ntah kemana, saya still dapat rasa awak genggam tangan saya...
entah kenapa, saya tak dapat rasa air mata saya mengalir...
awak, awak kat mana?


...............................................................................


saya letih, saya penat... saya tak mahu bangun... saya nak tidur...
saya nak jumpa awak lagi....
saya tahu setiap kali saya pejam mata, saya boleh jumpa awak...
saya rindu awak...
awak rindu saya tak?
perasaan saya kuat sangat.... awak dapat rasa tak?
awak jawablah soalan saya....
tolonglah...


................................................................................


saya tengah buat ulangkaji, saya tak sedar bila saya terpejam...
tapi saya tak kisah. sebab saya nampak awak datang...
awak duduk tepi saya, kita sama2 senyum...
tapi bila saya nak salam awak... saya nak cium tangan awak...
awak hilang...
"awak! jangan pegi... jangan tinggalkan saya..."
saya terjaga, saya masih mencari.
bila realiti menggamit saya, baru saya perasan, "oh cuma mimpi..."
saya menangis lagi...
"saya nak awak betul2 tepi saya..."


................................................................................


"awak, percayalah cakap saya kalau saya cakap saya bosan. sebab saya tak maksudkannya pun." tunggang terbalik kan ayat saya? macam tu lah hidup saya sekarang...
saya tak tahu macam mana nak lupakan awak...
tapi saya tahu, saya mesti lupakan awak...
saya selalu bayangkan perkara2 indah mcm perasaan yang tak pernah berubah.
tapi itu semua ilusi sahaja...
sedihnye saya...
pedih rasanya...


.........................................................................


saya nak benci awak.
saya nak marah awak.
saya nak lempang awak...
tapi saya tak sanggup.
apa sangatlah salah awak...
saya terfikir, kalau satu hari nanti apa2 jadi, dan saya tak sempat maafkan awak,
mesti saya menyesal... jadi, baik saya maafkan awak dan lupakan awak.
sekurang-kurangnya saya takkan menyesal di atas kebahagiaan awak...
saya bahagia tgk awak bahagia..
walaupun terluka. tapi saya masih boleh senyum..
saya dah cukup gembira.


..............................................................................


awak, kalau saya tak sempat bagitau awak,
saya cuma nak awak tahu betapa saya cinta kat awak.
perasaan saya tak pernah berubah.
saya pernah marah sangat dekat awak...
tapi perasaan tu tak lama.
saya takut kita tak dapat bertemu, apatah lagi bersama...
once and for all, saya sayang sangat kat awak.
"pls jangan lupa saya ye?"


.....................................................................................


awak fantasi hidup saya, ilusi saya dan pernah menjadi realiti untuk saya.

it's here, it's everywhere.

i looked out the window... and i sighed, it's full moon without stars. All stars are gone...
i wonder why... so i told myself, maybe the clouds are hiding them. if i do good,they might return them to me. i hope so...

I went to this place, to a place of memories. lots of it... i felt like i am where im supposed to be. it's where i belong too. it's where i wanna be...
I went out, but everywhere are places of memories... i feel they're so near to me. i feel them around me. i thought if i expose myself to all these memories, i would feel terrible. instead, i felt relieved. i know i couldnt lie to myself, i miss you so much.

I pass Burger King, but before it was the Quick Cut. haha.
I sit at the fountain...
I stop at Bandar Tasik Selatan, and someone was hugging you...
I see us swimming.
I remember taking LRT with you...
Im standing infront of the mirror, but i see us taking pictures...
I hear the song "i dont want to miss a thing" but i hear you singing...
I miss eating mcD or pizza or KFC with you. or maybe i miss the cooking part.
I wish we could have take more pictures.
I want someone to play the guitar, my guitar, for me.

there's a lot to mention... but enough, it's enough to prove that i would go crazy losing you.

yeap, breaking up just changed the status between us. it's not a big deal. but when breaking up means losing... it's a lot to take up.

Today I realized, the nearer i am to our memories, the easier it becomes for me to let you go.
At least i have those memories with me. should be grateful enough. :)
I take it all positively today.
"Law awk syg sy, awk akan jd diri awk sndiri... Jgn la runsing2 law ada prob btaw sy, hani sy dh x simpan2 dlm hati..."
i read it again, and again, and again...
i wish i've done it when we were still together... but it's too late.
no, nothing is really too late. at least i still got the sense of realization in me...
Yeah, i should just be me. it's no harm.

Saya still sayang awk. exactly for the moment. so i'll be myself. maybe it's no more for you. but for me. At least little part of you is still in me. i think i can throw you out of my life completely, but i dont want too. despite what people gonna say, it's my decision what. it's my life. :)

I loved you too much. it's a mistake i've given all my heart. i should've saved half of it incase half is broken, i got another half. but, things happen... lucky i could pull up myself to get out of this life reality. with supports of course. Ma, i wouldnt know what to do without you.

It's a sweet memory. you are.
You used to say "i dont know what to do IF i lose you" but myself saying, "I really dont know what to do when i lost you..."

I didnt really know why it turned out this way. but hey, let's get it over with and let's us start our own life. i know you've started one. so, its me who should get it started with.

5 days, i've a lot to tell you. to share.

well, people. as i always said, im here to share my memories. and im done with it.
it's only a memory and i meant nothing more than that.

"Sometimes, when something is too near, we coulnt see it. then we tend to take it for granted."

you dont agree? take a book, put it really near to your eyeballs, can u read them?

god damn it,i miss you.

the pain is unbearable, but haha, i dont have any choice yea? the only choice i have is to be strong. and keep going..

Finally... Life's on the go...

My Raya wasn't so dull

'aduhai... I miss few days back before today'

when i reached KL, he fetched me. then jalan2 jap, then he dropped me home. ok la, i was kinda tired so the fear hasn't really conquered me.

the next day, i woke up quite early. kemas2 rumah jap. basuh baju... then bagi kucing makan. i cooked. =D tapi simple2 thing je la. segera nye foods. ;p but still sedap kay? we ate breakfast and brought some for the friends too. happy sgt.

Malam tu pulak while waiting for my fam nak sampai rumah, kitaorg duduk at his friend's house. no one was home. so we sat outside. ade swing.. =) we swing ourselves for a while. malam tu banyak bintang.. boleh la. we were talking. suddenly my eyes were filled with tears. i had no idea why. i guess i love him too much by then. Lepas tu, we went to IOI, thought nak pegi dinner there. but it turned out dia nak makan Pizza and i wanted McD. we did not fight =)

Entah kenapa, i was kinda so sentimental that night, i was thinking of tapau pizza & McD then makan kat Taman Bukit. since kat sane ade spotlight :)

so, there we go. sweet sgt mase makan kat situ... ade few people practicing Wushu (if i spell that right??) but it was a silent night with stars and moonlight. i never had dinner kat taman with my boyfriend (belovedddd bf pulak tu) then lepas da kemas2, kitaorg lepak jap. He sang a song for me (under my request sebenarnye =p) but he sang "Ku Ingin Kamu" by Romance Band. So sweet till i cried. i dont know what to do if i lose him.

Baru hari tu rasenye stay up all night, teman dia buat assignment. afterward, we went for a drink kejap. tapi kejap2 pun, it was morning when we finally dah nak balik. then, i felt like keeping the motorbike. so, the plan was, i'll drop him at his friend's house then i'll go home. but i was afraid (silly? yea. but still ;p)

so i said, "awak, erm, teman saye balik boleh x? saye takut.."

"tapi awak nak pegang motor kan?"

"yaa, u can use other's motor maybe?"

he was like umm taking only sec to think and smile and said,

"it's okay sayang, i'll send u home using my friend's motorbike." so we do as he said. he's sweet.

i love him. :)

Esok tu i woke up late. i was like, "OhMiGod!" cuz i promised nak bawak breakfast to his friend's house. neway, i knew them all. so, even lambat, i guess it's ok. my mom helped me goreng macaroni.. my sister helped too. tak tahulah by then it's still called breakfast or lunch, but the main thing, im happy tgk org suka makan my cooking. haha. i tried real hard for it kay (even it's actually easy ;p)...

then kemas2 his bag cuz he's going back to Melaka by then (sedihnye ;( i dont want him to go back)

After da kemas2 semua, we talked. we used each precious sec preciously of course. hehe.

then, he dropped me home.

i really wanted him to stay tapi there's no way he can do that.

so, we kinda promised to wait for each other till we meet again (literally, that's what happen everytime we're apart. ;p)

i already miss him. urgh, sweet memories always help kan? im glad. =)

Heart Him.

Surprise!!!

September 4 2009,
i was kinda relieved it was a simple day as i had only EST paper to take. but i thought of it's going to be a real boring weekend as my bf can't come home this week. yea, gotta understand he has things going on in the campus. can't hold him back huh... i thought so.
so after school, i finished my exam as fast as i could, thinking of the bed and happy dreams. however, things were unusual cuz usually every Friday my mom would be waiting for me but this time i was looking out for her car but it wasn't there. when i was searching, someone called out my name. so i guess it has to be one of the friends huh. i looked around and guess who i saw???
Surprise!!!
Yayan, sitting on his motorcycle! i really thought i was dreaming or maybe im missing him too much then im seeing him around. so i blinked as much as i can. but the images are still there and i see he was smiling at me and giving me the sign to go to him. i was freezed! but i managed my steps somehow. he was there infront of me... i just couldn't believe it! i was too happy to say anything. i did smile. of course i'd smile! oh gosh i missed him like hell.. i've never thought he'd do something like that. yes, it was really unpredictable. he handed me the helmet and i ride with him. so there goes the conversation...

"when did u come back?"

"this morning... (smile).."

"what time did u reached here?"

"11.45 am.."

"so, where's my mom?" i asked.

"i went to ur house first. borak-borak ngan ur mom. saya nak bawak awak buka puasa ngan cousins saye hari ni."

"ohh.. (looking stupid)."

"kenapa ni?" he asked me.

"er, xde pape. ckp x boleh balik?"

"saya nak jumpa awak..."

gosh! how sweet! how romantic was that! ;p there was more to mention but im not telling u exactly what we talked about! hehe. i just never imagine that something like that would ever happen to me. u know, u've planned u'll sleep through the weekend cuz ur loved one is busy and the next thing that happen is that, he 's just infront of you! oh, i love you more sayang!

Pure Necklace - '09

A day before Ramadhan, Yayan gave me a necklace. It has double heart on it - which is gold and silver in colour and it has little diamonds on the edge of the silver's. He says it supposed to be a birthday present. (well, i accept belated birthday present don't i? especially from him! ;p) but i felt like it was given on my birthday itself. it's so special... well, my name or his name wasn't carved on the pendant, it is a very simple but perfectly beautiful pendant. I usually am very concern of pendants but this one is different. I like it the first time i see it. and it looks just perfect and sweet on me. I just dont know why. I kinda feel special too when i wear it. I havent been bored looking at this pendant. it makes me feel satisfied. =) i love it. it symbolizes something that i couldn't explain. it takes away the pain of missing him when i see it. I dont usually like gold but this one looks gorgeous. i dont expect it to be expensive but it has a high value for me. i'm afraid i will lose it upon my clumsiness, uhh know me.. gosh, it makes me feel secure when i am worry. i can feel that it is so pure and full of love. thank you sayang for this lovely necklace. i really precious it! i love you! just want u to know, that i appreciate whatever u give me. but mostly, i precious and love you so much.