Healing from a break up

I swear to God I did not write this to the Sunday Times. But this writing, has almost the same story as mine. and the same duration -__-" Read them :')

Question:

HOW do I stop from loving someone who makes himself unavailable and refuses to reciprocate my caring? We dated for three years and suddenly he said we were through, without an explanation. How do I stop hoping for something more from this person? I even have trouble using the "ex" word. Please help."

Tessie answered;

Can you expect a beggar to give you a car? and would he be too concerned with his hygiene?

Would you ask a chauffeur for a diamond ring?

When you aren't blinded by your emotions, you would naturally match your hopes and expectations realistically, knowing the people around you. You'd be more capable of reading the signs.

The difficulty here is that you can't let go of your hope that he could still be available. 

Ah... you think perhaps if he would understood you better or if you showed him more clearly how much you loved him, he would come around. Then there's the bit where there's no explanation. The man didn't even allow you to take part in your break-up!

The path to healing is to understand the emotions and beliefs you have about yourself that make you hold on to this unrealistic (and painful) expectation.

Such beliefs include "All my relationship should last forever" and "If someone leaves me, that means there's something wrong with me".

Once you have challenged, reoriented or healed your mistaken belief, you can let go of the hurtful hoping about this guy, but still get to keep the love.  

Adapted from  NEW SUNDAY TIMES, JANUARY 15 2012.