Semak. Itu perasaan yang aku bawak ke sini-sana lately.
Bila bukak Facebook, lagi semak. So, i decided to deactivate my account. Bila-bila aku rasa it's time for me make a come back, it's either aku akan activate balik atau this time I'm creating a new account.
People judge. People talk. Doesn't really matter to me. Only family and him who matters. And friends, whichever true friends left... maybe one. maybe two. maybe none.
I'm just so hurt, I don't know who to look for. I just wanna go somewhere, I don't know where.
Yang ditunggu tak kunjung tiba. not a call nor a text.
Ego aku terlalu tinggi, kalah KLCC. doesn't suit to be in a relationship. Aku salahkan diri aku, I just need to be away, find myself again. I feel so lost. Acting to be happy doesn't make me any happier. Laugh and laugh and laugh and in the end of the there I am waiting for a text or call, and cried myself to sleep.
That. Is. How. Pathetic. I. Am.
I can't make myself find friend who would listen to my heartbroken story, I was busy all this while, I can barely make time for them, so I won't make them have time for me when I'm sad. I don't want them to feel burden, or to even have the thought of "oh she only look for me when she's heartbroken." Nope, I'll be back when I'm okay. I can do this. On my own. Hurt no hurt, everyone eventually get hurt in life.
Since when ego aku tinggi? Since I got hurt.
Insecure. Paranoid. Obsessed. Skeptical. Dubious.
I guess that's me. Is it so? I don't know.
Confused. Complicated. Muddled up. Obscure.
But I'll be okay, at least no one is lying.
