One call that matters.

I really need to chill out. Go somewhere, do something, just to kill the time. Do something that'll make me feel appreciated. Buy a gift for myself...
I know, in relationship there shouldn't be possession, I swear to God I am not trying to control him or something like that. All I ever waited for was for one call, one call after you finish work and before I go to bed, or before you go to bed... It doesn't matter if we barely even talk, but that one call mean so much to me. Even if I don't answer, when I wake up in the morning, to see there's a miscall from you, knowing that you actually called, will make my day. But, I waited and you never called... I called and you never answered. And, when I acted out weird, you asked me "what's wrong?" ??? For real? How am I supposed to explain to you? Tell me, if I explain to you just like how I wrote this post, will you understand? Will you? I think I have said about this before and yet it's happening again, and you expect me to understand this time... Maybe I don't. But I won't speak up... I'm done fighting. All I want is a call. I don't need you to come and see me and tell me you've sacrificed much for me. When I'm sad, I don't need you to be upset. So, now that I'm not telling, when I'm sad, I'll just stay alone. Keep it to myself, and hold onto it. So much for love, I can't even understand it for myself.. One call. That's all. 14.07.2011

Surprise Birthday Party

I can't sleep, mungkin sebab dah tidur petang tadi. Itulah, mama dah kejutkan tapi gatal nak tidur, kononnya letih and here I am babbling alone.
Tawar hati. I need an exact definition for that. How about if you love a person much yet you feel that? Possible? Entah, yang pasti what I'm feeling isn't something I would classify as 'tawar hati'. Well, whatever (ayat cover!)

Last Thursday was my love's birthday. Well, didn't do much for this year as I have a very tight budget. I was quite in dilemma in deciding how to make his day... Last year, we celebrated with family. So, I thought I'd do something different. Thinking of taking him to the Garden restaurant in Sunway or Italiannies at the Curve but thinking of going out just together, the both of us, doesn't makes me feel excited. I mean, it could go awkward or he might be bored of going out just the two of us, yelah everytime pun boleh keluar berdua what... So, what came to my mind was he'd be so happy if his friends could gather in one place at one time. He can hardly gather his friends, they're often busy working and stuffs. Sometimes, dia pulak yang tak ada masa lagi2 since he starts working at Celebrity Fitness. So, I decided to gather his friends and make it a surprise for him and mission started by inviting each of his besties, people that I know. Everything was planned well, it should turn out fabulously but I spoiled it. Hanii pulakk... mampu planning, hancus. Last minute plan, tukar location, and I decided to bake the cake (it was my sis actually ;p). Rush balik from my work place, tukar baju and all tak sempat siap pun and nak confirm lagi dengan everyone else, I sucked in planning haha.

But Alhamdullilah, surprise tak surprise lah jugak dia. Maybe I dah kantoi sikit awal2 tu, but he never expected around 10 of them will turn up. I pun actually ;p Happy sangat, because of them lah my surprise menjadi, even lambat and all, tolak tepi lah, dah lepas pun. And special thanks to Naz, who I believed came all the way from Puncak Alam to make it happen. Not to forget Nick, Ateen, Anis, Jijie, Mimi, Apip, Dayah, Kak Ton, and Shah :) Thank you guys, and Happy Birthday <3 

Location: McD jalan Telawi, Bangsar.

14.3.2011

Oh kita dah 2 tahun together lah sayang. Despite dulu orang kate,"Ala baru setahun jagung."
Despite all of their judges, 2 years is long for me. I never kept a thought of an easy relationship. Of course, the waves were hard but we managed. After so much you and I been through. Pretty much for a 2 years-only couple. Dulu awal2 kenal, awal2 bercinta lain, SEMUA INDAH, BAIK BURUK I SUKA LAH. But now we spent lots of time trying to adapt to each other's bad habits and all... Tapi that's how it is supposed to be kan... Better do it before marriage, at least if one of us decide,"aku x tahan lah dgn kau" or "I don't want to spend my the rest of my life dealing with this person" you can still simply cut it off.

Tapi sayang, tahun ni saya tak cukup budget nak celebrate -_____-" but how sweet of you getting a Music Box for me. Pagi-pagi lagi dah dapat Music Box, terasa macam I'm back to the little kiddo world sekejap. Cute baby thanks :) Dah la dapat Music Box, dapat pulak favourite Egg Tart - John King! A very lovely morning oh wait, + FAT :P

-my ballerina in my music box :)-

in my world

14.3.2010,

Happy 1st Anniversary Yayan! :)

As i said, all the fights were worth it to last with you till now.

I am just so happy to have you in my life.

Maybe i can questioned, why do you even appear in my life?

And the answer shall be, "to love you baby."

For those who knows us, knows our story, our hardships, and for those who had helped us thorugh it, i dont mind of you judging us. but for those who doesnt, keep your thoughts to yourself. We dont buy it.

I could still remember our first met, it was unexpected & beautiful.

I remember looking at each other without a word, without even knowing each other.

A stare that last until now. that had kept us together...

I'm sure you remember spending the whole night chatting to each other. Of course, i talked less at that time. but I admire how you could stay me awake listening to your stories.

Dear, i am so sure it wasnt Masscom who had build you the way you were or you are. It's just inside of you. ;p

Conflicts by conflicts, i believed it was fate who had matched us at last. who knows...

After so much denial between us, well, it just doesnt work, we're meant for each other.

The truth / Honesty had bind us.

Talking for 3 hours to you wasn't enough. There was just so much to talk about, to tell too.

But hey, i'm sure you never really care about this but i wont forget how people used to condemned you so much that you were with a school girl. but you never give a damn.

but hey sayang, i think i like it better when i was a school girl. we suite anyway. anyhow :)

But mostly what i'd like to tell you on this day was, I want to start a new chapter with you. Let's leave the bitter one behind. Let's leave all the bitches behind and go on with, only us.

I had forgive you but now, i am so ready to forget. you know i am not the kind who forgets, but i would for this, for us.

You've been a great guy on earth to me. You're sweet. You're ..... everything? idk ;p

Even kite pegi cruise bodo2 je on that day, i'd like to tell you how happy i was.

couldnt describe the feeling... it was a perfect day. never forget okay?

Urgh. nagging about you could take me so long... There are just so much about you dear.

I should stop ...

I hope we'll figure out better ways not to fight. haha. i like it sometimes... ^^

i love you Yayan! ILYSM and only u know what it means.