Dedicated to you Alanna, childhood friend.

Alanna. she's my childhood friend, our childhood friend  actually... My siblings and I and Alanna often played together in the evening, we cycled, we climbed the cherry tree, we came home late, went to the park and all. I mean, I am older than her, but you see when were a child, you do not discriminate... not by race, age or pretty faces. Even if you don't like someone, when it comes to play time, you play along...

Her mother was a great women, very pretty too and nice of course :)
I remember celebrating birthdays and all. What a fun time Alanna :) I miss all those funs.

Say hello to memories :)

"Leave me then one day you'll realize there's no one would make coffee for you anymore like I always did. Its the simple things you dont see."

It's just words that came running past through my head. It didn't mean much anyway did it? I don't know...
The main point is that, sometimes you don't realize the simple things that kept you happy or contented. You tend to take it for granted, like I always do I guess... I couldn't really figure out what but I guess part of anything that goes wrong is my fault too. You can't just solely blame people, right... But when people take advantage of what you've done, perhaps when you admitted your fault and they'd be like so proud of themselves like they've done nothing wrong, boleh ucap selamat jalan.  
I always treasure when my Mom makes coffee for me every morning, it's something I love. Or serve coffee when I am so busy doing assignments. It's the simple things you know...
Appreciate what you have dearest. When it's gone, it'll be just a little too late :) you can just say hello to memories then. Take care readers, ♥♥♥

Unlovable with Eng subs by Mild / Bell Nuntita

UNLOVABLE BY MILD

To those whose looking for complete translation, sine I love the song too, so here u go :)

And not to mention, I love it so much when Bell Nuntita (Thailand's Got Talent) sing it!

ก็รู้ว่าฉันไม่มีความหมาย และพอจะรู้ว่าคงเป็นไปไม่ได้

gor roo waa chan mai mee kwaam maai lae por ja roo waa kong bpen bpai mai dai

I know I am insignificant and it's impossible

ยิ่งนานเท่าไหร่ ยิ่งหมดหวัง

ying naan tao-rai ying mot wang

The longer it takes the more hopeless it is

เมื่อเธอไม่เคยจะหันมองที่ฉัน

meua ter mai-koie-ja han mong tee chan

When you never turn around and look at me

ไม่ว่าจะทำเช่นไรเธอคงจะไม่รักกัน

mai waa ja tam chen-rai ter kong ja mai rak gan

No matter what I do you probably won't love me

และก็รู้ไม่นานความฝันที่มีก็คงจบไป

lae gor roo mai naan kwaam fan tee mee gor kong jop bpai

And I know my dream is going to end soon

* แต่ตอนนี้ยังมีเวลา ที่ฉันจะหาเหตุผลดีๆ

dtae dton nee yang mee way-laa tee chan ja haa het pon dee-dee

* But there is still time now for me to find a good reason

มาฉุดรั้งเธอตอนนี้ แต่ก็รู้ดีไม่มีหวัง

maa choot rang ter dton nee dtae gor roo dee mai mee wang

To drag you now but I know well it's hopeless

ต่อให้ฉันจะรักเธอมากเท่าไหร่

dtor hai chan ja rak ter maak tao-rai

Even though how much I love you

แต่ก็รู้ว่าเธอคงจะไม่สนใจ ก็ยังฝันไกล

dtae gor roo waa ter kong ja mai-son jai gor yang fan glai

But I know that you are probably not interested it's still beyond my dream

และยังคงหวังเอาไว้ข้างในจิตใจ ว่าซักวันเธอจะมีฉัน

lae yang kong wang ao wai kaang nai jit jai waa sak wan ter ja mee chan

And I still cherish the hope within my mind that just one day you will have me

แต่ก็รู้เป็นไปไม่ได้ เมื่อเธอคิดว่าฉันไม่ใช่ ก็ไม่เป็นไร

dtae gor roo bpen bpai mai dai meua ter kit waa chan mai chai gor mai bpen-rai

But I know it's impossible when you thought that I am not right but it doesn't matter

ก็อยากจะขอมีเธอเรื่อยไปในใจไปอีกแสนนาน

gor yaak ja kor mee ter reuay bpai nai jai bpai eek saen naan

May I have you in my heart always for very long

และแม้ว่าสิ่งที่ฉันทำวันนี้ มันอาจไม่ทำให้เธอได้รู้สึกดี

lae mae waa sing tee chan tam wan nee man aat mai tam hai ter daai roo-seuk dee

And even thought what I have done today might not made you aware

สิ่งที่ใจเธอพอจะมีก็เพียงแต่ความรำคาญ

sing tee jai ter por ja mee gor piang dtae kwaam ram-kaan

What could possibly have in your heart other than mere annoyance

แต่อยากจะขอ ให้เธอได้ฟังเอาไว้

dtae yaak ja kor hai ter daai fang ao wai

But I wish you can hear

บทเพลงสุดท้ายที่ฉันตั้งใจจะมอบให้ไป

bot pleng soot taai tee chan dtang jai ja mop hai bpai

The last lyrics which I intended to allot

ที่กลั่นออกมาจากใจ และมีให้เธอผู้เดียวเท่านั้น

tee glan ok maa jaak jai lae mee hai ter poo dieow tao nan

Is extracted from my heart and is given to you only

 (Repeat *)

** ต่อให้ฉันจะรักเธอมากเท่าไหร่

dtor hai chan ja rak ter maak tao-rai

** Even no matter how much I love you

แต่ก็รู้ว่าเธอคงจะไม่สนใจ ก็ยังฝันไกล

dtae gor roo waa ter kong ja mai-son jai gor yang fan glai

But I know that you are probably not interested it's still beyond my dream

และยังคงหวังเอาไว้ข้างในจิตใจ ว่าซักวันเธอจะมีฉัน

lae yang kong wang ao wai kaang nai jit jai waa sak wan ter ja mee chan

And I still cherish the hope within my mind that just one day you will have me

แต่ก็รู้เป็นไปไม่ได้ เมื่อเธอคิดว่าฉันไม่ใช่ แต่ก็ไม่เป็นไร

dtae gor roo bpen bpai mai dai meua ter kit waa chan mai chai dtae gor mai bpen-rai

But I know it's impossible when you thought that I am not right but it doesn't matter

ก็อยากจะขอมีเธอเรื่อยไปในใจไปอีกแสนนาน

gor yaak ja kor mee ter reuay bpai nai jai bpai eek saen naan

May I have you in my heart always for very long

ไม่รู้ว่านานเท่าไหร่ กว่าที่ฉันจะลบเธอจากใจ

mai roo waa naan tao-rai gwaa tee chan ja lop ter jaak jai

I don't how much longer that I will remove you from my mind

กว่าที่ความทรงจำดีๆ มันจะเลือนหาย

gwaa tee kwaam song jam dee-dee man ja leuan haai

Even more good memory will fade

กว่าจะได้รักใครอีกครั้ง...

gwaa ja daai rak krai eek krang ...

By the time I will love someone again

 (Repeat *, **)

เมื่อเธอคิดว่าฉันไม่ใช่

meua ter kit waa chan mai chai

When you thought that I am not right

แต่ก็ไม่เป็นไร ตราบใดที่ฉันนั้นยังหายใจ

dtae gor mai bpen-rai dtraap dai tee chan-nan yang haai jai

But it doesn't matter as long as I am still breathing

จะรักเธอไปตลอดกาล..

ja rak ter bpai dta-lot gaan ..

I will love you forever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMaGYrhga6M click for Bell Nuntita's video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L8GXUY1Na0&feature=related original singer

I think my heart just changed it's direction, it goes ------>>>

When you find there's just too many lies and too much of pain, and you refuse to deal with any of it anymore... And you found that he's so happy to be free from your jealousy, from your "only-one-attention" and he's filled with so much excitement when he's with his friends rather than you that he'd rather go out with his friends than staying to play cho tai T with you at home... you just, will be willing to let it be. Then you found an article saying that people actually dosn't need relationships... That we just need a friend from opposite sex for companion, I think he can have all that from his friends, COMPANION. Which is far better cuz you're bound to no no commitment at all. Which makes me, I wanna be free too. Like really, you can't be serious, you're in a relationship but acting like you're not in one... I wouldn't want to deal with that. It sucks. I think then you better be honest, let each other go.. in PEACE please.

I've been to Raub yesterday, I remember the xcitement that filled myself when I got there. It was far into a jungle... but the place was magnificent. I felt peace, fun, I felt what I don't find anymore here, in KL. I've got to enjoy myself like really enjoy it... I remember him but I don't think I really miss him. If not I'd be crazy to find a plug to charge my phone as the plug in my room wa not working. I just don't know why... Maybe because of him. He made me feel that way. The way he wants us to be in a distant after quites years being so close together. I think its a disaster but giving him what he wants is still my pleasure (don't take it the wrong way PLEASE!, lol), I mean, if that's what he wish for... I'd be willing to adapt myself for it. But I can't control my feeling. It fades away when you go too... It hurts but it wasn't like before, there's not so much of pain anymore...

How much I wish I don't wanna be back here. Sometimes I found myself asking, "what for?". Well, there's still studies that's keeping me here. I wanna be someone new, new face, new personality, surrounded by a new place, new people. That's why I got excited when I see "new" guys now, :P i'm kidding! but reallly, they gave me a rush of feeling that I haven't been feeling for quite a while. I just want to get to know. I know I don't deserve anyone else now... I just need a new life you know, less depress one perhaps.
I was so dissappointed because he almost made me feel the way I do once upon a time, but he spoiled it for the sake of friends, girls. Whatever you know... Go with it, I'm looking one for myself too anyway.

Maybe people who doesn't go through what I do or feel what I felt, they'd be saying, "she's so mean towards her boyfriend. He's so romantic, sweet, handsome, so clever = wonderboy", but hey, if you can make him love you, go take him. BUT MAKE SURE YOU MAKE HIM HAPPY BIT** :) And now, when you read this, hypocritically you'll say,"She's a bitch for giving away her bf like that", but you guys are ungrateful people who doesn't know what you want and if I leave him, I bet you'll make your move cam babi tak..? ish.

*to be continued with pictures of Lembah Temir, Raub

Some tweetbird's says;

If I'm so important to you then why do you make me feel like I'm the last person you care about?

Tell me why you lied to me, and explain why I shouldn't walk away.

There goes a perfect one! :) RT @jessicaleon_: #agoodboyfriend kisses your forehead just as often as your lips

RT @greg_racks: #agoodboyfriend makes sure he's the last one you talk to at night

RT @TheNoteboook: When you actually matter to a person, they'll make time for you. No lies, no excuses.

Every girl has that one guy she goes back to, heartbreak after heartbreak and nobody knows why, not even her. And she just can't let go..

It's a bitch but life's a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs will make you scream sometimes. #quote#song - Lie to me, Bon Jovi

- in my case, I ride a roller coaster and I just can't scream.. till the ride is over. And do you know the feeling of keeping the screams inside? It drives you crazy, make you go all depress!

Cinderella didn't do it on purpose

"If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?"

Never really thought of it till I saw this quote and relate it to my life. Well, everthing happen for a reason don't they? Let's just hope and pray.

You plan to see a rainbow but what you get to see was nothing

Topic of the day: Blaming people.

Bad day today as for me. I worked my ass off for Marketing presentation, however, not my luck that everything are clashing with one another in the same week. So, gotta admit I suck at time management. I tried my best but I was distracted by emotions turbulence which paused me for one whole day. So, in one time I'm trying to complete my report on Marketing project and doing the best for my Marketing Channel presentation. I made personal notes for everyone, photocopied it and intended to distribute it in class but only God knows why it happened, I was late for class, the printing shop made me wait for so long, I did last minute changes to my report, and all. Basic mistake: LAST MINUTE WORK! So, I was wrong, I was about on my way to class and got a text saying the lecturer was pissed by something, someone or somewhat I don't know that she left the class. She was informed that I'm gonna be late. I know it's part of my mistake but I don't really think she left class because of me... She can definitely refrain me from presenting if she was really mad just because I'm late, but she abandoned the whole class. So, of course I'm pissed if others blame me alone without reflecting their own mistakes.

I went anyway to see if I can see her to apologize, at least if she would accept my report even if she's not gonna let me present. I lost my mark for sure, but I believed it happens for a reason. Perhaps if this never happen than I'd continue with my bad habits of procrastinating work, mixing emotions with works, it was never right... It's about time to change Hanii... to realize that you're gonna have to learn to priotize what's more important. Well, back to the story, I went but she wasn't there. I called but she wouldn't pick up. I texted and she replied that I could leave the report at the administration. So, the least I could do was to say thank you for accepting my report and sorry for being so late. I don't know how am I suppose to explain to her.. I feel bad really.

But I feel even worse when classmates who were in the class (which all were late too), started to call to see if I'm seeing the lecturer cuz they want to see her too. I told them no, because the lecturer won't even pick up the phone. And when I bumped into them, they started to ask again the same question. I was trying to be patient while dealing with own frustration because of losing marks and all... But I was really pissed when a voice shout out,"salah presenter sebab datang lambat." While I know the flow of the situation, they can't be blaming me. The reason they were mad is because our lecturer doesn't want to accept their report and they blame me for that? What do I have to do with their reports? It's a definite no no that I have nothing to do with madam not accepting their reports. Memang mintak maki la wei. I wasn't trying to curse or anything but I wish they would stop blaming people and reflect if they, themselves had done anything wrong to our beloved lecturer. I told them I was sorry I was late, that I did not present my chapter and all. That was my fault but I certainly is not the reason of their reports are not accepted.

Look, I'm sorry I was pissed but I hope you'd think before you say something. It might hurt other people's feeling. And to those who thinks they've done a perfect work, think again. You might arrived early to class, submitted the report, and presented, but did you present well? Up to madam's expectation? Did your classmates hear you out? Do they understand? Or it was all piece of shit? Jangan berlagak sangat please.

Before you even blame anyone, think, did I do something wrong that causes that person to act that way? Kalau kau tak salah tak apalah, but what if you WERE wrong? hmm.

p/s: If only my lect's reading this which I know she won't? err... But would love to say millions of sorry. If only she knows how eager I am to present for Marketing Channel chapters -__-" but it's okay, it was my fault. I learned my lesson and I hope you can forgive me for this. I'll try my best again, for the next presentation, to not disappointing you, but in case you change your mind, I'd love to present to my classmates about Marketing Channel. I'm sorry Madam, tak pernah terlintas dihati to take advantage of your kindness. Sorry.

"Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain."

a note to ponder

When a girl is being so nice to a guy,

she's not being cheap,

When a guy being 'jual mahal'  or selfish to a girl that being nice to her,

he's not being ego,

This girl is not being cheap,

we have to accept the fact that a girl is a compassionate person,

therefore a need of attention is a must.

And this guy is not being ego, it is in him that,

he felt ashame and felt that he did not deserve to get the girl.

Hence, girls and guys do understand each other and dont judge... X)

- by Ryanshadows.

PLEASE HELP. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFF IN ONE'S LIFE

At times you're going through a hardship, heartbreak, failure... Just remember there's someone out there who's going through the worse suffering than what you're in. Especially heartbreaks with a partner. I can't imagine going through a heartbreak without crying, without eating but people, its just worse to even imagine a mom's heartbreak to see their child's pain.

True, I thought I almost went crazy with so much things going around. I couldn't cope well. Then, I sit next to my mom after coming back from somewhere, she told me about my brother's friend, who is just 11 years old. His friend, Khairil Irman Rosli, was hit by a lorry while cycling. His condition were too critical that he was admitted into ICU. Even till today, he's still in the ICU. From the info, it says he is already conscious but was very weak that he got his lung infected now. Oh my god, he is such a small child to be suffering so much. Both of his hand are bounded to the bed, as he's struggling to take out all the wires attached to him. I feel so sad even listening to the story. The first round of donation has been made, and now the second round is going on... He is not from a rich neither moderate class family I think, and does not have any insurance. His parents are not working in the corporate level that the company does not cover any damage done. PLEASE HELP. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFF IN ONE'S LIFE. He is so young to suffer such pain.

Please drop a comment if you'd like to help. I'd find a way for you to contact the parents of the kid right away. Please, this is not a spam I swear. Only God knows. I'll try to get pictures of the kid and you can even find him on facebook, just type in 'KHAIRIL IRMAN ROSLI'. He's a very small kid but was very active in the school and is a good friend. Let us all help him to get a chance to live.

Update: I was told that he was on his way back from school with his friend cycling, his friend was infront. They were on a one way road but the lorry came from the wrong way and crash him. His friend was safe, but he missed by second. Fortunately, when he realized, the boy let go of the bicycle but still got hit. I still havent got the account number from the parents, working on it. Let's us all pray for his recovery and may Allah bless this family of a young eldest boy. 




Most updated info is at: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150214221524120

Shrek & Fiona

- love -

Shrek and Fiona. I think they portray the best value of relationship in the movie. They go through hardships. Yet in the good times, they fight cuz each of them have their own flaws. Shrek took Fiona for granted once when they had babies and he wished it never happened because he thought he was never happy anymore. He got his wish but regret. I wonder when we gonna realize not to take the person who cared for us, the person who loved us the most for granted.... I wonder when we gonna really accept our partner's flaws as they are. But you see, you cannot use your flaws as an excuse to take them for granted. I love the way Shrek has never taken advantage of Fiona's wealth and beauty. He just love her, not the other. He even feels awkward to take advantage over the families' hospitality. He wanted to take Fiona as his wife and take care of her not depending on what Fiona's parents has to offered.

everyone fight, i should know.

Shrek & Fiona is the sweetest couple ever. They portray the truth of a relationship, they fight but then they realize who they really love.

You're the smoke to my high

In relationships, there will always be up and down. We had our fun times, went through the hardest part. Succeed but kept on going through fights yet still madly in love. Sometimes we forgot what we have, took it for granted, yell at each other... Sleep it over, well, basically you can't sleep then only you'd text. Suddenly, sorry seemed so easy to say because you can't stand being apart from each other. Say sorry, xoxo and happy ending. Tomorrow is another day. Ego is normal? Depends. Sometimes it takes being taken away from someone for a while, to realize how much you really need them in your life. 
It's perfectly normal if at first you felt everything was awesome and after a year, everything seem so boring and there's nothing new and no excitement and so much fights... don't worry, you'll find something new to do soon. It is all up to u two to keep the relationship alive... Relationship, is not easy. Through these days dear, I dare say I love you. I do.

Listening to: Auburn - Perfect Two

They have issues

If you dress nicely, he says you're a snob. If you dress sexy, he says you're a slũt. 
If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you're quiet, he says you're stupid. 
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. 
If you don't love him, he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll leave you.
 If you don't screw him, he'll say you don't love him. If you do, he'll say you're easy. 
If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him.
 If you lecture him, he'll say you're bitchy. If he lectures you, it's because he 'cares'. 
If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks a promise, he had to. 
If you cheat, he expects it to be over. If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance. 
 Either way... you run back ... EVERYTIME!


like, if you have something going on and forgot to call him, he'd be upset. But if he has something going on and does not call, its because he really can't and expects you to understand ALL WAY LONG. 


p/s: this is copied. & this, part of it is true. don't you think so? and this, too, can be vice versa.

The older, the mature?

"I may be a 'kid',but I'm more mature than you. Note that."

Not being vain either arrogant. I am just saying, it's true it doesn't mean I am younger than you than I am more naive or stupid or immature. I can be childish but my point of view can be more matured than you. Entah kenapa, maturity is such a big issue with "old" girls who are already in university. If I was a school girl, they would call me bdk hingusan, but when I finished school and got into a university they looked down at me as they're already in degree level. Is this what you called matured? I don't know, not all young people are matured enough but some are just gifted. So, you can't just look down at people, judge them all you want and spread stories that ain't true about them. That is what I call 'inferiority complex'. You just can't accept it is it? Oh God. I wish it was never an issue cuz it got me exhausted. so exhausted.

But, I know people at young age who has issue with seniors or older people might be nodding your head, smiling, and saying,"yea it's true. doesn't mean i'm younger i'm not matured." the fact is dear, only some people who is really matured. If you, at such a young age, desperate to tell and better yet to show off to people that you are matured, then I guess you're just not there yet. Maybe even if you are matured, you still have to respect them who's older than you. Respect is important. Unless you show respect and they give you shit, there goes your right to do what you want to do. Depends if you're matured enough, I don't think you'll curse. You perhaps will just let it go and let it flow, see where it gets to...

Maturity is very subtle. You can't measure them. and definitely it is not measured upon age.

The older, the wiser. IF YOU REALLY LEARN WHAT LIFE HAS TAUGHT YOU.

oh p/s: love that one person only without having another one waiting on the other line :)

From Malaysia to Thailand

I'd like to say Welcome to Malaysia to Krissi and Alex who came from Bangkok for their shooting here on the 30th March. Really guys, if only you could spend more time here maybe we can go to more places :) Had fun hanging out though. I hope you really enjoyed Malaysia and at last you know how your country and mine is somewhat alike, perhaps like you asked about our faces are almost the same? :D

Come again alright? And make sure you have time for fun :) 

We miss you guys.

p/s: to Mook, if you're reading, I hope you can make it too! I miss you so much dear.

Pooh and Piglet

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered. 

"Yes, Piglet?" 

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

Love is sweet. As much sweet will get you diabetes. well, it's love.

I remember doing this all the time. Calling my boy just to make sure whether he's okay or not. It appears that I have less bonding with this guy, perhaps we'll have to get married first :LOL:
So, I can't trust my instinct much on this.
The other day, he went to class. And I ride to my class but on the way I saw an accident, our university is quite close to one another but I did not know whether he has arrived or not. So, I immediately called to ask if he was okay. That's all that matter, him being safe. But sadly, the one who's involved in the accident is one if his friend. He was riding a motorcycle and fell by himself. I am not so sure how bad it was but he's gone. Al-fatihah.

But be sure, how you guys fight or said you hate each other, but if you care enough to let go of your ego, it doesn't cost a fortune. Unless you want it to be too late...

He's been using me

"People were created to be LOVED. Things were created to be USED. The reasons why world is in CHAOS, is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

True. It is so true. The worse a person could ever do is to take advantage on other people. Materialistic much? But, it doesn't mean you need to have something valuable for people to advantage on you. All it takes is to have something that they want. Comfort for example. I don't know how to explain in further details. But isn't it mean to take advantage of the hospitality provided by someone who actually really love you? She loves you but you're just basically using her for your own importance. I think it's cruel.

There is a saying,"when you give, don't expect for anything in return." Sure true as hell, but as in human nature when you give and give and give and give, and keep giving but you're not getting as much. You somehow even feel neglected, feel being left, and finally you'll feel like,"GOSH HE'S BEEN USING ME!"
We don't expect wen we give, but you should really play your part. I'm sure you're a human being too right? So, treat people the way you want to be treated.  

*sorry if the title is a little too controversial. :p

If you weren't mine

A poem especially made for me. Perhaps it's not a good poem, but it's valuable though to me :)
Credit goes to Ryan Shadows.

Sitting alone at a corner,

I was thinking...

I am not going to be alone if she sits with me,

I am not going to sing alone if she hears me,

I am not going to joke alone if she laughs for me,

I am not going to cry alone if she sit besides me,

I am not going to sleep alone if she accompanies me,

I am not going to walk alone if she walks with me...

If, is just a word.

Which always discourage us for it's uncertainty,

Which always doubt us for its fifty-fifty,

Then comes a girl, she sits next to me

at the corner...

Sitting next to me she said...

You don't deserve to feel the uncertainty or fifty-fifty,

you deserve to hold a word stronger than If,

you know why?

Because you ave me... And I'm not going to let you live you life

alone by yourself,

with "if" haunting you...

Got up with her, I smiled...

Now I do believe in me that my life

would be miserable 'if' she's not mine.

regards.